The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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