even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
