i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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