She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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