I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Enjoy the penises
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
