...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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