i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
