so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
