Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize