"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
