so explain again why im purple
no
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
