Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
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So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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