I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
