i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
