Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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