Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize