By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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