this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
