kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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