So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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