So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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