96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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