im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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