Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
