Got a toothbrush?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
