Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
