sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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