so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
