VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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