My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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