you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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