my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
