Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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