He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
