i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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