Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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