My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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