Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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