what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
