I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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