It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
