College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
