Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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