More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
me + whiskey = a bad person
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
