Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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