Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
