You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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