white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
