This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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