We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
