We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize