I just made out with a guy for $7.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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