Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
