I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
