I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
