I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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