Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
