do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
