Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
