never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
